Social Media
I scroll through four social media networks simultaneously on a daily: Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter. And when it all boils down I don't have a lot of friends but many acquaintances.. It is so odd that I have the same people on quite a few social media platforms that I use but we barely speak and I see them ALL the time. I like their posts, pictures, retweet them, watch their snaps and I'm not actually friends with any of them. I find myself stuck in my phone,consuming the tech world. - And now I find it hard to focus, concentrate, think, listen to myself and be still. My phone is so addicting and so is social media. My feelings towards my phone and social media has become ambivalent. I'm trying to be as authentic as I can be in a world where I also try to copy and do what "she's doing" because "oh my god I love that outfit... her hair looks so good!...I need to try that nude nail colour... I want those shoes... wow they got money, big money poppin'!!!...oh camo is in season?...I could be cute like that but I'm broke though" that's me talking to myself... scrolling down my different timelines. Consuming my mind with people's lives and thinking what my life would be like if I had "that(theirs)" unconsciously.
Sitting in Pret A Manger I was scrolling through theshaderoom, laughing, when I decided to stop and look up. Everybody, like myself, was eating and consumed in their phones. Thank God for free wifi, right? I mean I don't even know what my grandma used to do when she was my age... oh making babies! I absolutely love the tech world but I am so addicted to it and I would like to know what the simple life truly is. No obsessing over social media and my phone but to be in the country side in France or Italy reading, exploring and OH! using my eyes... for once. Rather than to be slouched over into my tech world consuming what strangers are doing while a million thoughts run through my mind about what I would look like wearing her dress or having their relationship "goals" because I would be focused on the present that is before me. I have recognised that I have been comparing myself to women/girls from different races, ethnic backgrounds, sizes, etc and after seeing all the glam from my Instagram feed I look in the mirror with a distorted look on my face looking at my reflection and body image and I begin to question every inch of my worth because I have not seen the beauty that is on the outside of myself as well as on the inside. I just want to break free from the anxiety I've created for myself over all these years.
Am I the only one?
"The present, that's a gift that's why they call it present" -Big Sean
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